plz talk dirty to me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
