just come out here and I will go home with you...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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