just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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