In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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