I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
