guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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