if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
