weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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