You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
