I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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