I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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