its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
