So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
