Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
