I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
