she looked like the before picture.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
