i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
