eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
