Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
