coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
