Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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