69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
