I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
