remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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