we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
