we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
