Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
