My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
