The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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