I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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