i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
