I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
