Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
