i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
