btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
