Kiss
Puke
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
