So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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