There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
