Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
