Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
