billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
