I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
