But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
