This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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