so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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