You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
