Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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