tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
