He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
