Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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