She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
