i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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